Phones can only do so much...

It took five minutes of staring at my screen, sipping peppermint tea, before I realized that I had so much to write about and yet absolutely no words with which to do so....

I just got off the phone with someone who in many ways, knows me better than any other person, and at the same time, hardly knows me at all. Someone who has known me for my entire life, and yet has missed about 90% of my life for the past 4 years.

It's difficult to explain your life to someone who cannot see it--they miss all the little details:

the living room lit only by twinkle-lights and candles,

the kitchen smelling of curry and cumin,

contagious laughter that carries on until its initial cause is forgotten,

words as they are spoken aloud for the first time, for another person to hear, and the thick silence they bring....

There is too much that I can't describe, too much that must be seen...witnessed...lived.

I cannot live my life to the meet the expectations of someone else, especially when we are not sharing the same life now. It's sad that we may never see eye-to-eye on some of the more crucial decisions life will bring my way, but maybe never is too strong a word....